ur poem is unique another good poem check out mine if u would Thnax! I hope u will post more!

"The sun have just shine" doesn't make sense to me..."this" followed by "thoughts" doesn't work because "this" suggests only one thing, "thoughts" is plural. Oh, and "begins" should be "begin".

Setting aside your grammar, lol, you've got a very understated way of putting your emotions on the paper (or page, I should say). It's really quite refreshing.

Brush up on your grammar skills, you'll go far.

luv it. i like this one better then your other one.

thanks for reading my poems. it means a lot to me. thanks again~!!~

a good poem!!!! the readers were able to feel how you feel while doing your poem...