Comments : No Wings, No Heart

  • 16 years ago

    by Pete

    How this has got no comments astounds me, it's a truly beautiful poem. I think you used the imagery in here very nicely, really brings the poem to life in the readers mind.
    Nice use of vocab throughout.

    For me, this line could do with being slightly altered..
    "I curse the skies for cursing me."
    2 curses in one sentence seemed weird. Possibly alter it to ..
    "I curse the skies for blighting me."?

    I would remove the paste errors too, they are slightly off-putting.

    Other than that, it's a wonderful poem.

    [5/5]
    ~Pete.

  • 16 years ago

    by xxSuicidalxx

    You did a beautiful job on this! wonderful job! simple but beautifully written and great wording! Keep it up! 5/5