Just because your poems are different doesnt mean that they suck. The rhythm is a bit off but with time you'll figure out how to perfect that. As long as you have the creative knowledge (and you do) and the ability to accept constructive critism, you'll go far in your writing. Nice poem and good luck :)
-A

aww thanks very much

Hey great poem keep on writing you're really good in it 5/5
Alex

Good work!!! i loved the way you repeated:
"it became clear when i cried"
keep up the writing!!!
Luv FallenxFromxGrace