great poem david. you're so talented.
keep it up.
take care,
marjan

Excellent poetry - One error:

because is this is the only

Should be

because if this is the only

Other than that, really great message - so sad!

Peace. [Sole]

Love the line "I can't make her feel happy unless I give her my lie" Good poem keep writing.

Wow...thats all i can say is wow...did that come from real life inspiration or just a story in your head. Cuz it was great. Im going to read some of your other poems...wow...lol great job!! You have proven that poems dont always have to rhyme, they just have to mean something...GREAT JOB!!

@}>-->--
~Always4You~

Thanks everyone :). I fixed the error Sole pointed out I think :/ lol and as for Always4You this was based on a real life inspiration. I'm pretty sure all my poems are, or at least most of them.

Hey great poem!
i totally agree with Always4You
wonderful poem!
love mel

This poem is very sad but deep. I love the emotion in this poem. Very touching. Great job!
5/5

Wow... that's awesome!! it's really sad... grrr... but i really really like it, u r an amazing writer!!

*Shawte*

This is so different from the rest i have read from other poets. this is so different. in a good way. gee.

i loved the way you set it out. i will read more. hope you do the same.

i gave you a 5. and remember whenever i comment i vote too.

David

Diffrent, sad, excellent word choice, we have the makings of a great poem. i will give you a five, and thanks so much for the comment.

Amazing.
What I like most about this poem is the fact that's it's different & creative. The flow was flawless, the word usage was great, & the emotions were strong. Fabulous job! 5.5

Stephanie Lynn .+.