This is a good poem, good story to it, too. As for re-writing it, that's up to you. But if you do, I suggest fixing the rhyme scheme. But the story of the poem is good, so don't change too much.

Love,
Tiff

i don't want u ta change it... it gets the point across and brought a tear to my eye... omg it was sad, if that's what u wanted then it's perfect... take care, MAndie :)

deffinitley keep it the way it is! dont change one single thing! its really good. just dont do nothing stupid like that! keep writing, your good! read and comment mine sometime :)

I wouldn't re-write it. Once I post a poem I leave it the way it is! It tells a sad story! Good job! Take Care! Brooke

A great poem hun it far from stinks you probbaly could at a lil more detail though, a bit of extra atmosphere to your tale in this poem - just a suggestion I hope you can work with :o)