I actually think it's quite good but maybe needs to explain WHY the person is in pain a bit more.

You have to use your imagination as reading this poem. It makes it intriguing. Filled with pain! I think you did a great job! Take Care! Brooke~

welcome back jason!!
this poem was really great!! i loe how you write your porms.

Serenia

As always amazing it's good to see you posting something again I have missed reading your work and I think this is great.. am going through something rough so reading this made me feel revlevant amazing.. could feel the pain. 5
Jenn

I thought that poem was really good. i like it... i know the feeling to. great job

jason, there are something different writing than other, unique yet creative with every lines....

long time no heard you myfriend, where'd you go____? did you receive my mail...?

you take care myfriend, keep moving your creative of written.....bert.

Wow, I like the ending. Great write. <3

Great write.. ! *deep*

hey man that was nice my cousin says so too. never quit writing!!!
much love 2 u
p.s read my poems PLZ!!!

I really did enjoy this, different...but well written! well done.....luv em