It seemed too short I think if you painted a better background to this or made us see a bigger picture then this it would have been alot better poem just a thought... If you get time please any of my featured work and comment and vote it would mean a great deal to me. Take care...

wow that poem was excellent...way to paint a picture for the reader...i could really understand what was happening...great job and keep it up, you've got real talent...check out mine if you can. it would mean alot to me.
--emily