omg mike, that was great. if you've given that to somebody and they didnt return they're crazy. i absolutely loved it. so much love and emotion, mwahh

thank you bj. and it did NOT get returned! :(

hey =)
great poem
keep up the gd work
lots of luvxXx

I liked this one. the form is nice. Good work

Love Alwayz,
Katie Schettler

I pray you will give me the chance
to show you what i mean.
all of these emotions you say,
cant come from a teen.

This is clunky, but easily fixable:

I pray for you to give me,
The chance to show you what I mean.
You say all of these emotions,
Cannot come from any teen.

I changed a few words and order to fit flow and punch. Ending a line with emotion packs a much bigger punch than say. remember this for future poems.

Again, follow the tips I gave you on Hopless Romantic and this will look and feel a lot crisper.

Bret