Comments : The Way I Sleep

  • 20 years ago

    by Char

    Wow... That's a great poem! I love your poetry, you are very talented! Keep it up! 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by J u l e s

    Just a little suggestions

    I sleep without answers
    I sleep with the questions you left
    The fact you thought of someone else when i kissed you

    [ okay in this line in stead of when i kissed you, how about when we kissed]

    The fact you never teared for me
    Not even a few
    ^^^ did you mean cared? if you mean crying maybe try. "The fact you never shed a tear for me. Might be more understandable

    I sleep with my eyes open
    Because when I close them I see you
    I sleep with tears on my face
    Because I can't believe you weren't the one for me

    [ good stanza, could of been on a bit more of a rhyming side but it was good]

    I sleep feeling like I'm about to break
    ^^ maybe take out the I sleep. Sounds better with "Feeling like I'm about to break

    As a matter of fact
    I can't sleep at all
    Because you keep me awake.

    ^^ this part very good