whats with the numbers. words are a lot more affective. some of your lines didn't make sense. try to correct those and get rid of the numbers and you have yourself a great poem.
~*Freak*~

that is gr8 babe say hey 2 verity 4 me u write well gd stuff love ya x-x-x-x

When a great artist writes a poem, i dont believe he/she is trying to rythm or make it sound amazing...just writing what comes from the heart...rather then connecting the pen to the page, a great artist connects their heart to words...so it doesnt matter if you have mistakes or not...
great poem

I know how you feel i dont even know my father and im almost 18. so keep your head up and someday he'll find you!