Ok-stanza 11-the rhyming pattern is not apparent-the pattern throughout is a-b-c-b, however in this one stanza none of the lines rhyme-the 2nd and 3rd kinda do-just kinda throws the flo of the poem-dont know if it was intentional or not.

also, the last 3 stanzas-u might want to look over where you have "he" and where you have "she" and if any are mixed up-i think in the last line of the 3rd stanza it should be "her picture in the mud"?

and in the 2nd last stanza-why is it HER reason, why he took his life? should it not be HIS reason??? If u did change this you could maybe change the last line of that stanza to:
"what made him hold the knife."

and the last stanza-the 1st 2 line are great-although the 3rd line doesnt make much sense in context-i understand what you are saying but "it was obvious how he did" doesnt refer to anything mentioned. How he did what? i think that maybe it could have just been a tpo and you meant "died" instead of "did"-that would make sense-but u might want to fix that up-

now after all that criticism i wanna say that i thought the story was great-very sweet at the beginning yet devastating at the end. the flow and rhyme was pretty good throughout and a lot of nice emotive terms were used-

4.5/5 (rounded up of course)

aish
xx