Comments : I dont care (Rhyme)

  • 18 years ago

    by Katrina Boblina

    Wow it rhymed good. You sohuld make more poems that rhyme lol. It was my favorite of yours so far. keep it up!

  • 18 years ago

    by SammiBABY

    Hope your feeling happy, getting away from people like that is good.

    smiles,
    sammix

  • 18 years ago

    by Jamie

    The first line I think you should change "no more" to "anymore" it sound so much better that way

    We started with trust,
    Now Im kind of scared.
    I might get hurt,
    And thats not fair.

    you broke your rhyme scheme there fair and scare rhyme but fair and scared do not hehe

    its blunt, straight forward, get a very simple point across...id like to see you use some metaphors and complicate things make it messy and confuse me...make it mean more then face value

    but good for being blunt, cute little point you got there, a simple feeling that many can relate to

    good job 4/5

  • 18 years ago

    by amelia

    BEAUTIFUL POEM... I AGREE ITS GOT A CUTE POINT TO IT & BLUNT... BUT ITS A LOVELY ONE INDEED 5/5
    I'LL ADD U TO MY FAVS TOO...
    MUCH LOVE
    AMY

  • 18 years ago

    by Lonely Heart .ღ.

    The rhymes fitted well together, i like it, :)

  • 18 years ago

    by Samantha

    Seems kinda harsh but you get the point across well.

  • 18 years ago

    by nikki

    Great poem i love it it has alot of emotion in it 5/5 good job

  • 18 years ago

    by .

    OoOoOo this is really good..i think im in love with it lol 5/5 deffinately! Great job!
    Thanks for the comment
    Becky
    xoxo

  • 18 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    In the poem you don't sound too sure of what you're saying, there's a lot of "think" and "might." For the reader to believe the poem, the poet must, and it doesn't sound too convincing. I like the simplicity because it sounds like a couple bluntly trying to work it out, and then realising there is no point. It's quite short, and doesn't say much, but then again sometimes couples on the brink of separation don't say much either.
    Keep writing.

  • 17 years ago

    by X2892

    Dam I know wat u mean i went the same way n it sucked, well great poem 5/5