Okay for starters, when you end a line with a period it means the same thing as when you end a sentence with a period. That can make reading a poem very problematic, so you could considering changing the grammatical format.

one problem i had with this poem was that certain lines didn't seem to make very much sense. i wasn't sure if you were obscuring your meaning by being hard to understand or if you were just suffering from a few serious grammatical mistakes.

e.g
"just the deep outside inside a cloud."
inside would be describing the location, but I'm guessing that the object is 'outside,' which I suppose can be considered grammatically correct, but I don't understand how that is supposed to further the meaning of your poem. i can see the metaphorical connections between the love and the scenario that plays out, but some lines seem to either have a hidden significance or none at all.

Its amanda and i am just stopping by to say i love you hunny
love amanda

Subtle brilliance, I love the concept. Well done.

Alot of the lines didnt make much sense to me.

Interesting plot, but the flow was alittle difficult to follow

Okay this one was better because you only attempted to rhyme a few times....this one is my favorite out of all of them its WONDERFUL to see happy poems!!