The beginning was very sad because it's about hitting and that one who you love if it's your dad or boyfriend or something it's really hard and it sucks. But i don't like the last paragraphs at all for some odd reason just not right i don't think the last 2 i believe. But another then that you did a great job. i'll give you a 4. keep it up. keep on writing. love always and forever.

I don't think that fights and threats actually rhyme. fight ends with an "ait" sound and threats ends with an "eht" sound. It is close enough for a slant rhyme maybe, but none of your other rhymes are slant, so maybe you should consider changing this one.

There is a large discrepancy concerning the length of your lines as the poem goes from start to finish. The first stanza is filled with really short lines, and the last with long ones. You should consider maybe making it so that all of them have medium length lines, as that might help the rhythm a bit, although the poem is pretty functional as is.

I thought your rhyme scheme was a bit constricting, as an ABAB scheme, and I feel it shows in the quality of your rhymes. They are very simple and basic rhymes, for the most part, and they often repeat ideas. One positive aspect is that you didn't twist sentences around to complete rhymes, which is something people often do.

Wow really sad poem. i'm sorry if this is based on truth. it must suck. well the poem its self is very good. 5/5

Another nice poem, i really liked this too.

'Slamming doors,
Screaming threats
Shanke the floor
Continuous fights'

I especially liked this stanza, it puts it all in perspective, and works well as an introduction to the rest of the poem.

xxx cici xxx

Okay yeah the rhyme scheme was terrible you were off in many points but i think you know that the flow was somewhat awkward but i did enjoy the story behind all the formatting stuff i think this is a very meaningful peace to you and i think this is you speaking from experience i could be wrong but it just seems like your really writing how you feel and thats wonderful

5/5

I think you could have done much better, so I gave you a 4/5.

Again, it wasn't as detailed as your other works.

However, I still enjoyed it. =)

( )_( )
(='.'=)
(")-(") Arrivederci!

Hey
great poem... the ryhming was a bit forced, but it happens to the best of us. good job anyways...
hannah

Nice job! it was a very heartfelt poem. i can realte to it more then i care to. the flow was good, and it spoke to the reader. lovely.

Ruby

Aw this is sad but really good.