Thats tight i think its great wow nice job

Nice i like it alot you have talen

~*Aww that was like the sweetest thing i've ever read....really....aww...lol srry but yea it was really good i loved it keep up the great work 5++*~ XoXo

I hope this post works as planned...lol

Fallin in love wit u was never part of my plan
but once i got to know u i wanted to be ya man
be the one to show u the love u desire
baby i neva gave u da reason to call me a liar
been there for u on all those nites
cant tell u how many times u saved me from fights
i gave up my knife and dont carry a glock
all for u baby we'd be chillin on my block

I broke down some of your lines into a stanza or replica anyways...lol
I think if you were to present your poem formatted it would be eaiser to read and more ppl mught be willing to r/r/c.
It cleans up the flow a lil and make for a more enjoyable read. Hope it helps!!
You do have a unique way of expressing yourself!