Comments : Trap-Door Veil

  • 14 years ago

    by Jamie

    Hehe your very talented

    defense-mechanism
    that i wrap up and around myself

    that sounded so cool! i think i kind of got a meaning out of this but somewhat not because it was alll complicated and you use great words...good job to confuse me!...that means you can write deep thoughts instead of staying on the surface like most of us tend to do....really great 5/5

  • 14 years ago

    by Lenny

    I love how it flows so vividly, and how it doesnt stray from the topic,
    my fave parts are where you have linked the title with the penultimate line and how you just have 'a' as a whole line, they both make the structure of the poem worth so much more, another brilliant piece,

    --Lenny

  • 14 years ago

    by Geena

    I loved your choice of words, but i think your poem could use better flow, there is room for improvment. 4/5

  • 14 years ago

    by Samantha

    Okay, so much for an in-depth critique...Your poem really kinda killed that idea (it's really awesome).

    I love how you broke up the lines, it gives the poem (and your poetry) a unique style and still it has a great flow.

    And the meaning behind the poem...I could go on and on. I love the thought you put into it.

    Really, really good one. ;)

  • 14 years ago

    by Sean Allen

    "but more rather,"
    i feel like that more doesn't belong.

    Besides that I thought this poem was blessed with a serene but serious tone, that had some kind of crazy undertone mixed in. The flow was very smooth, and the occasional rhyme added a feel for the rhythm.

  • 14 years ago

    by shawn hoskins

    That was good kinda dark iliked it 5/5

  • 14 years ago

    by Jason Meres

    I love your ideas, and the words you chose. It has a wonderful, cryptic style to it which I am attracted to more than anything.

  • 14 years ago

    by SealedWithAKiss

    Wow. This poem was really good. Your poems are really complex and deep. This kind of writing doesnt usually grasp my attention but this one did. Good job! 5/5
    *heather

  • 14 years ago

    by Falling Up

    WOW.. i REally like your poem , and your sophisticated use of language... i think it is almost perfect... ( since i dont beleive in perfect) so your pretty damn close! my favorite part is the very end stanza, which brings it all togeather. i can totally relate to this , because i have high standards, which like you said, " is easily fallen into" i just dont know how to rise above it, and look past peoples inperfections, because i too have them myself.. but all in all i loved your poem!! good work.. please comment on my poem"Reckless Emotion" i know its not anything near yours, but i worked hard on it, and it has alot of meaning to me.. so please comment, it would mean alot. thankyou!!! - Falling

  • 12 years ago

    by Lenny

    Very...You know what I'm going to say. Said it a thousand times. Its great. You are great.
    Etc.. Etc...