Again, love the flow, love the poem. Just wish it was in some coherent form. Well done.

Good. You do very well with putting your intense emotions into the poetry you write. I, as a reader, can really feel your words.

However, You said "your" twice in the poem, when you meant "you're."

"Your" means it belongs to. "You're" is you are.

Apart from that, good job! Keep writing.