Comments : A Battle Lost. [Need Better Title?]

  • 16 years ago

    by Drew Gold

    Pretty pleasant read,.. structure was pretty uniform and the flow was quite fluid..

    Why does this world,
    Still leave me sorrow?

    though, to my knowledge, this is grammatically correct, using sorrow as you did does sound a bit awkward to me. doesnt really matter th0, if you like it, keep it. anyway,.. i dont have much else in the way of critiques. i think the title should suffice.. my favorite stanza was the fourth, and i enjoyed how each stanza was based off a question.. goodjob..