It's not bad, but it needs work. You need to make it more like a poem, if you find you can't make it rhyme, then you don't have too, but you must try make it flow. The beginning bit was good, but you kind of let it slip somewhere there in the middle. Please don't think I'm being a cow here saying this, but I just wanted to give a bit of advice so it might help you

Are you still there...hope you are...nice poem...hit me back...peace...