I love this poem its very moving ..
I had to read it a few times to understand the full meaning but thats what good poetry is all about and I love the last four lines what a brilliant use of words Keep writing like this and you will soon become one of my favourites ....On a lighter note heres one of my quotes

Just like a Vaccume cleaner
Life Sucks
and we all turn to dust
John

Wow, the intensity in this is brilliant. So powerfully worded and superb flow. Great job~Holly