I know what you mean...my friendship with someone is slowly falling apart too...I spot a few mistake...see...I'll show you where...

I'll I want to know is why?
All I want to know is why?

Its like your falling into a dark cahasm
It's like you're falling into a dark chasm.

and Im reaching into grab your hand
and I'm reaching out to grab your hand.(I don't know whether this is right?)

my heart continually breaks over and over agian!-again

hope I help you...and it will be better if you arrange your sentence neatly and used the whole word instead of short form...you know...like cause...instead of cuz?

That's all...and don't get me WRONG...I love this poem...very very much...

I love it Joclyn you are truly a good poet.

Wonderful, just boil it down a bit more to the essentials and try and steer away from slang*looks like you've already fixed that (embrassed)* Keep it up hun!

Love Jenn