I dont think it need that much work. the second stanza maybe....but thats all.

i like the rhyme sceme it flows very well.

I like this! It's very passionate and so heartbreaking. I also admire the ending, well done~Holly

"where do all the tears?" that is a perfect title. this one touched my heart. reminds me about when I was your age. I had so much confidance in myself and I always hated to lose. losing was the worst thing that could ever happen to me and I refused to cry. words can't explain the feelings...now as I've gotten older, I've learned that the race is not always won by the swift but by those who endure to the end. its okay to lose sometimes because in reality you win and its okay to cry.

Great write! you have far more talent then I do...keep up the good work and I look forward to reading more.

Wow... deep lines. props

BX girl