Actually I think you did a very good job, is that all true? Man.. that must really hurt.. I'm very sorry, but you managed to express alot of emotions in it very good, I would never be able to write all that down in a poem,

I think if you were to change this line, It might sound a little better..

"But guess what, now Ive realized,
that we don't need you dad.
I stopped thinking of you a while ago,
cause when i do it makes me mad."

to..

"But guess what, now I've realized,
that we don't need you dad,
I stopped thinking of you a while ago,
'Cause you make me just so mad."?

I loved all the lines, its just the last part kind of messed up the flow, take out a word or two and it'll be perfect.

But good job, 5/5

Not rubbish at all. its a really good poem! the use of language gives it a whole new edge

Ruby

OMG you nearly had me crying there...........i'm really sorry this had to happen to you, you sound like a great person though. This poem was emotional and i think it got a lot of people thinking!!!!! Good on you!!!
And it wasnt rubbish at all
luv jess xoxoxoxoxo
ps- guess what??? my names jess too lol

Great poem. I can really relate. *eagerly reads more*

Well, to be honest...You could have capitalized the i's- Every thing else is fine :-)

Good Writing!
beth

This is mostly good. You kept the flow going throughout and the rhyming was effortless, so well done. However, the topic is very cliche, as you may know. Some of the ideas and pleading questions are very overused. It basically sounds like a typical teen poem. I must empathise with you though; you did a good job considering this. I have to admit yours was better than most on this topic. Another suggestion would be to capitalise every "I" this will tidy up the poem and make it grammatically correct.
Oh yes while I remember the first stanza was very good indeed a great way to start the poem, so more of that would be good. Using creative words that aren't "everyday" can make the difference too. Just use a thesaurus, it's easy.
I hope this helps, keep writing.

Great poem easy flow and easy to understand what you mean. Thanx for commenting me on my poems i always do the same back take care
-Rachel

Its not rubbish, but I do have some suggestions. "love me" seems over used, try something else the second time you say it. And some of the rhyme sound a little forced like "call" and "small". your poem expresses alot of emotion- good work.

This is full of emotion and really one of the best poems on this site I have read. My mom always wants be to be perfect and if I'm not she blames it on my friends she wants school to be my life and i can't take it I could just break any day now *5/5* please comment on some of my poems, thanx

Omg its great
my dad dont love me and i tryed to kill myself and not my mom.my dad told me im slow and im immture!! what kind of dad does that?
great job
i lvoe it !!
5/5

I loved how you reffered to the father as Daddy..,it gave it a realistic vibe! That was amamzing!
Sharon

Hun, write what is in your heart about your father. It's an amazing poem even though it's really sad knowing he wasn't there for you at all or for your family in fact. I don't know how that is at all but i know that it's prob. better without him then with him now. keep it up. keep on writing. love always and forever.

I love this poem.
Keep up the good work =]

That was great i can totally relate my dad walked out on my family too i think hes an arsshole

and if you think this is rubbish im not sure wat u wuld call mine lol..........i really liked did it
xo
allana

I think it's really good actually...i've never read any of your poems so i don't kno if you could do better, but if u call that rubbish...well i think it's GREAT!!! i really like that you tell your dad he was worthless, he didn't do anything...and now you've moved on...just like in a relationship!