That was a bit confusing.I think if you go back & clarify things some it may turn out alright. Don't worry about it, a lot of the poems I write I have to go back & change some things until I am really happy with it. Of course, if you are really happy with it as it is, leave it.

Take care & God bless!

You should check the grammar and spelling, it would make the poem so much easier to read.
I think that it had a confusing quality because dreams are like that. They're very difficult to understand, and even more so to tell, because only you have that vision. It's very difficult to tell a dream, so excellent try.
But please do fix the grammar.

Good Writing!
beth