Comments : Try and Hold on

  • 17 years ago

    by ShadowDancer

    Its actully pretty good. i like the tow line rhtming style, and none of ur rhymes seemd forced. well done!!!

    Ruby

  • 17 years ago

    by t i f f a n y ♥

    I hate to sound, I don't know, mean, maybe.. but there are some typos in your poem. I don't know if you even care, but I had to say something. College English is doing something to me! Sorry! Lol. Other than that, great job.

    Tiffany.xox.

  • 17 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    It's a very sad poem, and I can feel your words. I don't know which part you think is bad, because I quite liked it. It is saddening and painful, but in a way quite encouraging too because it seems a desperate plea to hold on and ignore the hate around.
    I must say however, you have some of your homophones mixed up. Just remember "you’re" means you are and "your" is belonging to someone. "To" is towards someone or something e.g. "I'm going to the park," and "too" is another word for also and in addition. Keep this in mind and may be edit where it's needed.
    Good job though.

  • 17 years ago

    by master of shadow

    I like this poem. it is very good. the structure and rhyme is good and the emotion is very pronounsed

  • 17 years ago

    by Lily

    Touching and sad i think that alot of people go through that moment when they don't feel like going on it just takes a friend to remind that person, that you need them here and it's them that keeps you going on...liked this poem alot thanks for your comments.

  • 16 years ago

    by UnToLd TrUtH

    This is really good Allison.