You are a good writer, and you don't need someone to tell you that. I like it a lot, but the last verse really stood out to me...

"I could walk on water, now all I do is drown
My heart would beat, now all it does is bleed
I could smile, but now all I can do is frown
You told me you loved me and you let me down!"

Each line ends with OWN other then the second line. I believe you should either change the second line to match the rest, or change the fourth line to match the second

I agree with all that xXMyThanatosXx wrote up there.

as for the last part try putting:

"I could walk on water, now all I do is drown
My heart would beat, (and bleeding is all it does now.)
I could smile, but now all I can do is frown
You told me you loved me and you let me down!"

i thought that might help. great poem overall!!!!

.:*BX Girl*:.

Wow that was great i liked it alot it was a great poem i gave it 4/5 but it was really good you're very talented and i'll like to read more from you

Love bunches,
~Carly~