Hmmm... this was really hard to read... you have so many great ideas in it but it was so confusing to me because it is all so smushed together... i think that if you spaced it all out it would be easier to read... so good luck.. it was a good poem... i really liked it! keep it up!

sammie

Meghan: Your emotions are so vivid and shouting to the reader. I would recommend that you break this up into stanza's to make it easier for the reader. This poem is full of emotion and breaking it up some would be most benificial. Just my opinion however.

--Sher