It was really good i liked your rhyme scheme unique yes and great
unique is the best it shows you have creativity -- yay for creativity!! :D
Love Always - NerdyPants
((DryTears))

This is so original and what's more is that it's GOOD! lol, I throughly enjoyed! Keep writing, I love reading!

This was well-written and chilling, definitely written to evoke a feeling and does a wonderful job of it. I love that you find a creative way to rhyme that hasn't been done before, orginality always adds the best dimensions to a poem. The only issue I had with it was the flow. In the second and third stanzas it was impeccable, however the rhythm felt really off to me in the first. The last two... I'm not sure how I feel about them. I like the short lines and that they still rhyme, but I just can't get them to sound right. Oh well, it's a great experiment in form either way. Keep it up!