Comments : Girl In The Mirror

  • 15 years ago

    by anonymous lover

    Last year when i stood in front of the mirror
    I saw a girl that could make all her dreams come true
    She loved life more than anything else
    There was nothing she couldn't do

    ***I really like the way how you introduce the reader into the poem..:)

    But this year, today, when I stand in front of the mirror
    I see a girl that is lost and much confused

    ***mh..The flow in this part isn't that great. I believe you could have changed something in the first line..

    Nothing turns out the way she wants to
    And on top of all that her heart has been bruised

    ***again the problem with the flow...but still good content!!

    How could everything change so fast?
    How come the joy and happiness didn't last?
    Who is this girl my reflection is showing?
    Is this confusion I feel growing?

    ***I like that part..!! :) good job!

    her face has no smile and her eyes looks so sad
    She knows what it's like to be abandoned
    She knows what it's like to be mad

    ***If you have a look at the first and second two lines, you will notice that the flow isn't that good..

    So now I ask myself a question
    while through this tears I barely see
    this girl in the mirror, could she possibly be me?

    ***This one is my favourite stanza in this poem. It contains a lot of power and overall I must say: you did a great job. The flow wasn't always the best but I still really like it (including the meaning of it..)