It flows beautifully great work.

Hey, I really like this poem. It is cool.
I love the rhyming scheme, except for the last verse where it kind of changes, I still like it though. The poem is a little short, but that's okay, how good this poem is makes up for it.
It has perfect flow,
Narration,
Rhymes,
Everything.

I am happy that you brought this poem to my attention, I really enjoyed it.

I love it! Tis great.

Love it..and about the poem The Sly Spy..there are other poems before that one that'll probably help ya out a bit

Love it..and about the poem The Sly Spy..there are other poems before that one that'll probably help ya out a bit

Tuly wonderful!!! superb!!! and thanks for the comment no words can describe what it means to me. thankyou and i loved your poem 5/5 =)

Hey, thanks for the poem suggestion, i never even really noticed that, anyway i think that this is a wonderful poem i am definetlety inmpressed!!

This was sooo sad.. i love it.. (dont worry, im just the sad type :P) this is gr8.. it was gr8. i reli enjoy ur poems.. i especially liked ur second stanza, its first lines.. they stood out 4 me..
keep it coming :)
take care
NannO

A familiar story most people can relate to, or could relate to, at one point in their lives.

Another well written poem with a very relevant theme, from an author many enjoy reading.

I liked this one lots.
i feel this way a lot of the time. but this time I know I'm getting better and everything.
wonderful job.
[♥]

Wow...thats just what im feeling right now...i kind of feel like people think they know me, but reallly im there waiting for them to see im not ok...or somthing like that!!! but anyway, i really liked it, and it was really well written as well, i liked the structure!

This is a very good poem keep up the work!!

Hey, i see you already have a few comments on this one, but that makes sense cuz it's great! haha yep ur a great lil writer! haha thanks for the comment on my poem, ur nice, i like that..haha well anyways i'll talk to u later, keep it casual
~Nate

Your poem is very beautifully written. I really enjoyed reading it.

Wow :) I enjoyed this, and can relate to it a bit.. it's awesome 5/5 Keep writing and I'll keep reading.

This poem was very, very sad. I really loved it. This is also one of your best poems that I have read. I only thought that the rhyming scheme in the last stanza threw the poem off a little because the flow wasn't as smooth as the rest of the stanzas.

I really loved the first stanza because it made me want to read more. It's like you took all the emotion and pain that you had deep down inside of you and let them flow out onto the page.

Encased within my acting shell
Careful to deceive
I hide deep under the dark water
Too scared to come up and breathe
Over my heart lies a door but
Nobody dares to look

To me this stanza signifies that you portray in front of others a totally different person. Your hurting deep down inside and no one is there for you to lend you a helping hand, or to give you a shoulder to cry on. So you have placed this shield around you so that others can't see your true pain, because that didn't notice it anyway so why leave it out in the open?

I loved the metaphor's that you used. You have a great talent for using metaphor's.

I also loved the second stanza because you continue to tell your story and it flowed right in from the first stanza. I also loved the metaphor's in this stanza:

Yes, the hinges may be rusty, but the
Door knob just needs to be shook
Over and over I hold out my hand
But it is passed by once again
You see, I'm looking for just one shoulder
Not a whole damn army of men
All I need to be given is a tiny boat

To me this stanza conveys the message of your pain and heartacheor loneliness is old or long over-due, but all it takes is someone to come along and ask you about your problems or to tell everything will be okay and you will let down the shield that you placed around yourself. You saying that you don't need a army of men. Only means that all it takes is just one person to notice you.

Now I might be wrong about my interpretation of this poem, but to me this poem can convey so many different meanings and I think that you have done another brilliant Job. Now the last stanza is the one that I had problems with. I think that you should rewrite this stanza wording it better. Part of the problem could also be because of the missing punctuation in your poem, but I was able to get pulled into it from the beginning. It only got a little shaky at the end.

That I'll start up on my own
Not like I'm completely helpless but
Sometimes I just need to fight it alone
Everybody smiles at me, I smile right back
Overlooked by them is the sincerity I lack
Doesn't anybody notice?

See in this stanza your conveying a different message then what you did in the first and second stanza. In this stanza is seems as if your saying you don't need anyone that you'll do it all on your own and that you will continue to lead others under false pretenses until you solve the problem on your own. Don't get me wrong I think that the message was powerful, but the rhyming was kind of rocky. So if you could just tighten up the loose ends of this poem, you will have a masterpiece on your hands. Keep up the wonderful work Jaime! And again I thank you for sharing your hard work with me. 5/5

Love
Letty

You write very well on all of your poems. I hope I get to be that good someday :P

Dis poem is like kinda go0d but u kno0 it can b a little it betterr but i kinda g0t da emotion nd flow in dis poemm...but i still like it just keep it up i give u 4/5

HEY
I LIKED THIS POEM. IT HAD A STRONG MESSAGE WHICH YOU GOT ACROSS REALLY WELL. KINDA LIKE PEOPLE NEVER SEE THE REAL YOU. I THOUGHT IT WAS A GREAT POEM.

KELLY
XX

My peoms are about tru things that happened to me belive it or not i dont care