You lazy loser! lol, if you decide to kill me, do it with a gun, not short poems okay? lol, your poems are so good but right in the middle you just decide to cut it short, what is that all about? And yes still I read the authors note, but even so, posting a poem that isn't full could greatly affect your rating by down-voters, they don't care if it is an unfinished poem, without enough content they decide to rate it one anyways.

I like this. It's beautifully written with alot of emotion. Truly heartbreaking.
I have a couple of suggestions.
In this line:

"Pretend that it's all an game"
It should be Pretend that it's all a game, not an game.

In this part:
"Continue to watch as your dream comes flowing freely from your wrist"
It would sound better if it said 'flowing free from your wrist', rather than flowing freely from your wrist.

Anyway, just my opinion. Welcome to the club! Take care~Holly