There was a good message in there somewhere, but it might have been easier to read if you put some breaks in it, instead of one long continuous paragraph.

"Things happen is what we tell them then we end up and Jill if not dead."

I'm assuming you meant "and in jail, if not dead"? Keep an eye out for things like that.
Good effort.

Im happly you all liked it but what about spoken words.

Well written! great job, i totally felt the flow! you're awesome keep it up! **5/5**

Do u mean ur english? I agree with all ur thoughts btw... all of them true... let me kno if ud like help wit ur english man! catch u round
ruthie xoxo

You are a good writer, but make sure to go over your work and make sure things fit. I agree with all of the things in this poem and hope the others are as good. Keep it up and remember the spell check. Lots of luv! My e-mail is niky_miky@yahoo.com! E-mail me!

I think things should written the way you would say them and being kid who grew up in a drug house i can tell you have real feelings about this