I don't really understand all the dynamics in this poem and the story behind it, but it's definitely filled with feeling, and that comes through. this is weird of me to say, but it kind of reminds me of an old love poem that's been translated from another language. it has that sort of tone. i like it

I like the way you wrote this,bit confusing but the essence behind it is prominent.
good work
keep it up!
-Lisa