Its great.. i think you could turn it into an amazing poem.. if you added a few lines.. gave it a little broader story line and perhaps a little more rhyme pattern... but still .. good job.

~David

This poem it's Good.....Keep it up the good job

Great Poem. keep up the good job!

Very very good poem! but also very very sad. 5/5. and a title.....hmmm maybe "I loved Him" it kind of goes wiht wats happening with the poem/story and it is also, or course, the last line. I dunno....just an opinian. Thanx for the comment on my poems btw! Oh could u read my new one called "The Game of Love" only if u want 2.
~*Tess*~

Great poem.........ur a real good writer........thanks for commenting on my poems too and yea i mite just take a look at the 1s u suggested
xoxo
allana

I love your writing style.

How about:

"Twist of the blade"