Comments : Haven 1.0 (Refuge under spirituality)

  • 18 years ago

    by shobhana kumar

    Good one Bhavin. there is a lot of meaning in this piece of work - it is easy to see that it comes from the depths of your heart.

    just a suggestion:

    Born and bred in a lonely world
    I resemble like a halloween ghost.

    the line would read better and correctly if it were "I resemble a halloween ghost".

    also, the last line of the first stanza should porbably read - I haunt this mysterious coast."

    just a suggestion. otherwise, i think this poem holds tremembdous meaning.

    good luck and peace
    shobhana