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Andy,
Did you ever put this to music? because this is bloody amazing, I dunno, It's just some thing I can totally relate and connect to. Yes I know it seems funny I'm commenting on this of all things but your my frst stop on my tour of the entire clubs first poems. God someone shoot me Lol! but I have to say this line:

One last time, under your false disguise.

I love it. I want it.
Can I marry it? lol or you so that I'm atleast close to it? lol okay enough with my creepy ness, I'm off to my next poem! *hugs* Love you babe

Jenn