Comments : Walking Straight

  • 18 years ago

    by azlan26

    I love the use of 'I could' and the idea of walking straight
    =] great poem

  • 18 years ago

    by PURE HEART

    Nice use of words and full of love,,,

    keep it up

    luv,
    Bharti

  • 18 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    Impressive write. Now the pressure is on me to give a real review to help make this perfect for publishing. Great idea with the walking straight, the repetition of this kept that idea going through my mind throughout the poem, which was effective. Some good choice of words, and you used original ways of putting the issues across.
    Critically, the only slight imperfections were on the second stanza, last two lines…I’m thinking maybe rewording, or moving the “with” to the last line, that’s up to you. It’s just those lines to me didn’t fit properly, if you know what I mean.
    If I were going to be picky I’d say how about capitalising the first letter of the two lines that are currently in small case, just so they tie in with the rest of the lines.
    A great poem, worthy of publishing, good luck.

  • 18 years ago

    by Sole

    Impressed! Well - not really, because I've come to expect nothing less of you . . but anyway! That's such a lovely poem (Beginning to repeat myself now!) All the things you could have done - and yet you just 'kept walking straight' :) I love reading your poems so much!

    Peace. [Sole]

  • 18 years ago

    by Marjan

    Wow kaylee, I really liked the way you wrote it. And
    The repetition of “I could have done…” makes the
    Poem even better. your talent in writing poems is
    revealed when one read your poems. Keep it up.
    Much love,
    Marjan

  • 18 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Yeah, i love the use of "I could" throughout the poem, its cool. keep it up
    xxx

  • 18 years ago

    by lost_laureate

    Oh the gift of foresight....this was another brilliant poem. Keep writing...

    [lostlaureate - come find me]