Comments : I Wait

  • 18 years ago

    by Bill Turner

    Very nicely done. What a wonderful, heartfelt poem. I would lose the comma's at the end of your lines, as you don't need them and in this stanza:

    I knew I shouldnt grab them,
    But they seemed just oh so warm,
    Then they moved quite suddenly,
    To let another in his arms,

    I would delete the word just. Read it aloud and it flows without it. This is nicely done and I like your style. I look forward to reading more from you.

    In answer to your question, I have written most of my life, taking 20 years off due to a lack of inspiration.