The rhyming in this poem is good but the rhythm could do with a little tweaking here and there, theres a few too many syllables in a couple of lines which interrupts the flow, but it was still a great read! xx

The peice s very good, good structure and rhyming thoughout. the flow is mainly smooth, though there are a few rougth patches they quickly recover.

5/5

I love this poem Jon, and thankyou for writing it. I think it sums everything up for me. Keep writing! I love your stuff!