Im sorry i think this poem is kinda overrated...write about something more greusome or fantasy..stop with the pissing and the moaning.

Hey, first of all im not great at commenting on love peoms, as i dont read them often but ill give it a go. I really liked the emotion expressed in this poem, it was really sad. But (this might be just me), i thouhgt it was a tad too unrealistic. It sounds like a scene from a soap oprah or something. I thouhgt you should of split it up into two parts, one while you witness this, and one with how your feeling. Yet this is a sad read, very meaningful though. Keep it up! Thanks for your comment! xx