I actually like this one. You used very short lines, But it all sounded good. 5/5

luv natalie x-x

Werid yes, but thats fine. the peice s very good, the short lines work very well adding strength to the peice.

5/5

Hey I thought it was good.

Hmm i like the way its written and i like the ending. shouldn't shorting be shortening. but besides that its nice

I thought it was really good this is my favorite out of the two.. I also really like the ending.. i like how all the lines are so short so it kinda grabs you anyways great write 5/5

~!*FallenTears~!*
~!*Meaghen~!*

Different, deffinatly, but the short lines keep your attention. its abrupt and straight to the point. a captivating piece.
zoe xxx