This was good. I also have a poem called "Suicide Note" Check it out if you want. The only tip i think i can give on this one, Is too maby explain a bit more as to why you want to commit suicide, It might help the reader understand a bit more. Other then that, I liked it! Keep it up 5/5

luv natalie x-x

Very good peice, i agree with the last comment about maybe having a little more detail but other than that it is a very clearly written peice.

5/5

I didnt understand the last asterixed comment but I liked the format you used for this...it was very melancholy and sinister but the rhyme and pace was exhilerating...nice stuff...

[lostlaureate - come find me]

Interesting. i dont really like suicide things. i like this:
It's Dark as night
But no moon light

and shouldnt vain be vein

Wow.. this was great.. I loved it.. i thought it showed great emotion.. great job 5/5

~!*FallenTears~!*
~!*Meaghen~!*

I like this one, but since it's a suicide note...I think you should say more, because these are your "last words".
I liked the descriptions, and the rhymes. Keep writing. 5/5

Theres alot of feeling here, but have to agree with the comments before, maybe a little more explination on the 'why'
nice work
zoe xxx

WOW, GREAT POEM...YOUR EMOTIONS REALLY SHOWED..GOOD JOB GIRL..

LOVE HEZHA

That was a weird style indeed, but it worked so well with the poem. Really emotional stuff. I think you should change the title to Pain of You.
Or you could leave it, it works both ways. Good stuff