Comments : Suddenly everything has changed (collab)

  • 18 years ago

    by PnQ Mod Account

    WOW!!!! Great work, Joe! I really enjoyed writing this with you!

  • 18 years ago

    by just a poet

    Wow, loved the poem, u an ann r really gd poets, this rocks. 5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by Marjan

    Wow, it's good to see you are continuing doing collabs cuz you're good at them. I loved these stanzas:
    A leap of faith we will take
    Together hand in hand
    Exploring the path of destiny
    To see what fate has planned

    Everything seems to be just right
    Taking this train ride
    To find out were we stand
    In this thing we call love

    beautifully written poem.
    take care,
    marjan

  • 16 years ago

    by IdTakeABulletForYou

    The first three lines of the first verse are okay, but then this comes:
    "Like a natural ace" and I am sorry, but I cannot read that and not think 'corny'. I know I have to read on, but I just wanted to say that it's best not to rhyme at all if the rhyme you have in mind makes the whole poem corny. Now to read on...

    "Unsure if I want to take that chance but I'm willing to compromise" ~ I read that line and fell in love with it. It is so short, so simple, and yet directly to the point. Wonderful job!

    reading on....

    "To find that place for which I strive" sorry, just wanted to say that although when this line stands alone, now that I can see it alone, it looks horridly corny when rhymed. Sorry, just wanted to say that =]

    reading on...

    "A leap of faith we will take
    Together hand in hand
    Exploring the path of destiny
    To see what fate has planned" ~honestly, I love love love this verse. It is cute, it is sweet, it is short and honest, and I thought a moment and for the sake of the flow I think it would be pretty if it looked like this:

    "A leap of faith we both shall take
    Together hand in hand
    to explore our destiny
    and see what fate has planned"
    ~I think in the revised verse, the flow is much better and easier to comprehend =]
    I'm not saying it's a need, just an option.

    All I can say is wow.
    Wow wow wow.

    This poem is wonderful.
    The last two verses are awesome, and it is just a pretty amazing poem now that I read it fully through. I read the last line and said wow in my head, and I love the last line especially.

    Wonderful job.
    All your errors led up to the end, and the end was incredible.

    6/5
    ~Stephen White

  • 16 years ago

    by IdTakeABulletForYou

    I am an idiot. I didn't even see that the poem was by two people.

    Haha, shows how much I pay attention.

    Wow, for a collaboration poem,
    even more incredible.

    7/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Lets Keep it A Surprise

    I liked this poem, it detailed both sides, and it flowed really nicely ^_^.

    I think my favorite line might be:
    Unsure if I want to take that chance
    But I'm willing to compromise
    Now come along with me
    To find that place for which I strive

    like an unsure gesture. Ehh idk ^_^

  • 16 years ago

    by Nix

    I like this piece very much, and I dislike typical love poetry but this piece is very interesting and original.
    It posses some sweet tone and you expressed emotions on a excellent way, incredible collab.
    I truly enjoyed in every line, bravo.