I really liked the rhythm and beat it had as I read it. You had some great lines in there. You did have a few grammer mistakes, but don't we all? Great Job.

Great concept - a really original style. I noticed one mistake I think . .

Didn't stay to rebuilt your wall

Should this be rebuild raher than rebuilt, the tenses kind of contradict each other in your line . . .

Other than that - I genuinely thought that your poem was great. Keep writing!! (ThoughI'm sure you will)

Peace. [Sole]

Well mona yet again you blow my socks off hehe!!
I love it !!
you are one little writer missy!!!

Oh yes, oh yes I've let you down
Now fall, now fall and silently drown

this is my fave bit
the rhythm of it really hits hard
sim reading it again yes yes
mwah well done xxxxxxxxxx

Awww huniiiii!!!
ur poem was extremely amazing!!!!!!! I really loved and and the idea of the repetition was really sweet =)
all ur poems are wonderfully written and I'm really glad we've become friends at last ;)
keep it up hun
Luv yaaaaaaaaaaa
P.S don't you worry about me I'll email you with the details ;)

Wow!!!
this one just blew me away!
So figurative...I love it!
it says alot...I could feel the emotions somehow...
Amazing as always dear!
love ya!-xxx-

Omg.....

Great poem I loved the rhyme because it is the same pattern i always use and the emotion in the poem leaves you with a lot to think about as a good poem should

Amazing poem ma dear!
You constantly amaze me!
ahh there's not much more i can say!!
love uxxx

And you say your english isnt that great. Well I'll tell you one thing hun, it surely seems like your english is awesome. Who gives you your lessons anyway? :P J/k. But GREAT poem. I loved every line of it. Write a new one soon, would ya? Keep it up :)