"take me life onto yourself" the “me” here should be “my”... sorry but it really annoys me when people do that... up until that point the piece is fantastic, unfortunately the flow got slightly disrupted by this grammatical fault... but I’ve read though once more ignoring this and the piece is fantastic. The flow and structure are perfect and the content very powerfully portrayed. Some good use of description within this piece and a few very well explored and expressed ideas. The interest of the piece is consistent and the strength of the content evenly spread throughout the poem. Overall the piece is fantastically written.

5/5

Omg............great work

Wow this is really good. It relates in so many ways. Keep it up!
Love Ya!
*Laura*