"The air is thick with the lies you spoke
Each promise made is one you broke"
A really powerful beginning and one that I really thought very effective. I really liked these two lines, just stating in plain terms that every promise made was broken and I think that by not trying to be overly descriptive you kept the edge on this poem. The rhyme was very effective and over all the poem had a very strong flow. 5/5 x

I love the beat and the word choice. This poem is amazing. keep it up.

Lissa

Wow, this is a really deep poem truly written from the heart. I love how you write two couplets and then an ABAB stanza...that was unique.

My favorite lines are..

"Choking gasps falls into despair
You tore apart what truth you gave"

Very powerful and well-written! 5/5

*~:thanks for your comment btw:~*

"Each lie was slowly given its own life
Blithely you ignore all of this strife"
I absolutely loved the way you wrote that. Your poem was so pensive I wonder if you wrote that from experience. If so I apologize. -Regret

Great poem...it gives some good imagery...its almost like my most recent...this poem might be among your top 5...i like the changing of rhyming patterns...and the rhyming for that fact

--S-S--

I love this poem, its very sad and heartfelt!
thanks for your comment on mine...I guess I needed your criticism =) thanks.

about the poem, well, my english isn't perfect but I like the poem overall, it meant something to me.
just check the grammar mistake in the title "Promises BecomeS the lies". shouldn't it be "Promises Become The Lies"

other than that, the poem is really sweet, well written
Keep it up
Yours
NemO x0x0x0x0