Your poem didn't really have any flaws to it, honest, and it just seemed to flow right from start to finish. I like the contrast between sunny and kind of depression I guess in the first stanza. I like the finishing touch and reality of the final line.

Another great job. I really loved the ending. && The way you described things was just really good. Keep writing, You're really great at it! 5/5

`taleee xx

Really powerful poem, the feeling comes straight through. What stood out for me was the way that the flow seemed to slow and die towards the end of the poem; maybe it was just the way I read it but I thought that it made the ending very effective. I also liked the almost frustration that comes through ths write very good stuff. I think it was mentioned above; the rhyme was excellent and never seemed close to being forced. Fantastic, 5/5 x

That was very good! verry powerful.. the sadness just comes rising out of your poem and hits you straight in the face! i love your work! keep it up!
jessy

Wow.. this is really good! The short lines really gave it more depth & emphasis & brought out the emotions. I love the way that you described everything, & I especially like the way that you ended it. Great job on this!

Wow. this poem is soo...deep. i love this poem, its just great. ur an amazing writer keep it up

I loved this poem...I thoguht you had some great word choices and amazing flow...I just loved it...
Emma 5/5