Nice job, you can add more imagery and flow

This is really good. It's very deep & emotional and it flowed very well. It was really sad.. You did a great job on this!
Keep up the good work & take care!

Good work at putting emotions in... it was very sad. Good job :)

Short, and strong. amazing. you dont find too many poems that are this short, and still take your breath away in the end. great poem.

Great job once again. i love your work. would you mind commenting on some of mine? thanks! keep it up!

Short poem, maybe a bit rushed as you could have expanded on the ending, but it gets to the point. Your final lines did have imagery to them like for me I got a picture of a woman lying on the ground with tears running down her face as she says those words. The flow was a bit off but it still was there to a point. Emotional piece, carried the message across.

You cut to the chase- u didn't tease or use words to make it nice and sweet, and it was a good poem

You cut to the chase- u didn't tease or use words to make it nice and sweet, and it was a good poem

This was action packed and fast paced...a little too fast paced for me...still a nice effort and highly emotional...

[lost_laureate - come find me]

Reading this, i was overwhelmed. the simple rhyme scheme works very well in telling this poem. i felt slightly uneasy reading this, which inturn a poem that can stir any sort of emotion is always worth commenting and prasing. Well Done.

GothicSorrow

Omg.. i so hope that was a metaphor, and if it was.. wow! that was an excellent poem, you had me tearing and cringing at the same time.. the short lines really added suspense to it and the flow was good! nice write! 5/5

This is really sad. keep up the good work like the rhyme going on keep it up 5.5

Short and simple but deep and effective the rhyme worked really well nice work xxALLYxx

Very well worded.. wish i could do the same.