You could make it flow a lil better but i liked the point of view...i like the message your giving....i think every one should read this...cause every one needs hope....and some ppl dont understand what is ahead of them...sure life can be dull..but like you said..its full of surprises...good poem 5/5

~David M~

Aww.. great message coming through there! you could hav maybe made it flow a little smoother, but other than that! its really good! :)

Haha.. That's cute. Great message. I think you did good, at getting a point across and I loved it. Great Job.

The flow was a bit choppy and some of the lines repetitive and too long but other than that the message was sent across clear and strong. It was nice to have as if the speaker was talking directly to the reader.

Awesome poem! I enjoyed reading it.
Keep Writing

Great poem, i can learn from that, more words, more meaning

Nice poem, had a good meaning to it. Good job.

Great job at getting the point across...the message was strong...Keep writting!!! 5/5

Flow could have been a little better, but either way it was manificent, 5/5

Wow!! Such a strong message!! great poem.

Note: "You, yourself, don't show the pain your in"
Shouldn't "your" be "you're" (you are)?

Keep it up!!! 5/5

Josie