The ending of this poem didn't feel like much of an ending at all. The internal rhyme between wrong and along in the last two lines sort of threw off the rhythm, and the last line is too long compared to its partner in the couplet to feel like an effective ending. Besides that, I thought this poem did a pretty good job of rhyming and getting its story across. I thought it was both humorous and interesting.

I Disagree With Sean.. I Loved The Ending. Except The 3rd Line did Seem A Little Short... it Was Stil A Great Poem. You're A Great Writer From What I Can See. I Love The Message Too. How We All Have 3 Parts And Tend To Show Only One.

\5/5\

xoxo

xLauren3

I Disagree With Sean.. I Loved The Ending. Except The 3rd Line did Seem A Little Short... it Was Stil A Great Poem. You're A Great Writer From What I Can See. I Love The Message Too. How We All Have 3 Parts And Tend To Show Only One.

\5/5\

xoxo

xLauren3

Enjoyed this piece. Good flow and imagination. Keep it up

Heh, if the light fights for the defenseless with an undying spirit, how is he a pansy? i dont get it. anyway, i really liked this stanza:

"He is my other side
Actually I think there's three
Good, evil, and neutral
Light, Dark, and me"

especiialy those last two lines. they just worked well for some reason.

Well Light is the kind of person who can never really stand up for himself. But when it comes to others he's more then willing to fight the good fight.

I like it! The 3rd stanza made me chuckle ~ thanks!